Parenting in Lockdown - Why won’t you take any credit?

Right, I need to say something and I am going to say it.

Guys, I have spoken to 3 lots of parents this week who, in different ways, expressed pride at their children for handling lockdown the way they are. They praised their children for being so strong, brave and patient.

Please please please, will you take some credit for this? Children are not brave, strong and patient all by themselves. They are shown bravery, strength and patience.

Of course, I know that a lot of the time everything feels upside-down and you're knackered, and they are knackered and it feels like it's never-ending. But you must must must realise that if your child does something amazing... often, it's because they learnt it somewhere. And seeing as it's lockdown and they have only been at home, they learnt it at home, no?

When I used to be a deputy, working with a team of teachers, I'd walk into classrooms that were controlled, peaceful, where kids got on with their work and were engaged. That was largely down the hard work of the teacher, pure and simple. Of course that teacher will deal with the same class at times being chaotic, irate and shambolic too, but there were many times when everything was just ... well... ok, fine, good, ticking along. And that "ok", that "good", that "ticking along" was down to the adult in the room.

Hope you don't see this as patronising but I am just hearing so many of my friends and clients giving themselves such a hard time about their parenting in lockdown and often being surprised or so proud of their children when they are behaving themselves. Well they do down to you.

They might say "thank you mummy/daddy" and that's down to you.

They might cuddle one another whilst watching TV and that affection shown is down to you.

They might get frustrated with something, have a tantrum, then use their learnt strategies to calm down and that's down to you.

I don't have kids, you know that, but I used to have 32 everyday for years. And I know that the work that goes into making kids feel safe, settled, healthy and "happy" takes a huge amount of daily effort. And you are doing that 24h a day , every single day.

Please go and have a glass of wine (or gin!) and if you see your kids colouring in quietly or getting through the other side of a difficult day, please remember that's down to you.

Parenting in lockdown has got to be the biggest marathon of your life and you’re doing it.